The most awkward yoga class I ever taught wasn’t in front of a packed workshop or during my first week as a new teacher. It was the regular Monday evening class where my husband Wes decided to attend.
He literally raised his hand during class—raised his hand like he was in third grade—and asked me, “Am I doing this right?”
If you’re teaching through the holiday season, you’re almost certainly going to encounter your own version of this. Thanksgiving gatherings and December visits mean that students are bringing their visiting relatives, your own family members might show up to “see what you do,” and the whole thing can feel like teaching with one eye watching your regular students and the other eye on people who know you in an entirely different context.
This is the subject of episode 61 of Yoga Teacher Confidential: Teaching Yoga When Friends and Family Show Up to Class.
In this guide, we’re exploring one of the most complex dynamics in yoga teaching: what happens when your friends and family show up to your class, and what it means when your students bring their loved ones to practice with you.
The Challenge of Dual Relationships in the Yoga Room
Let’s start with what makes teaching friends and family so uniquely difficult. The issue isn’t that they don’t respect you as a teacher. The problem is that they’re used to having your attention in completely different ways.
When Wes came to my class, he wasn’t being difficult or disrespectful. He genuinely wanted to know if he was doing the pose correctly. But the communication patterns between us were established in 1995, and they’re fundamentally different from how I communicate with my students. Those neural pathways are decades deep. When he’s in the room, my attention goes right to him—even in a room full of other students—because that’s how our relationship works in every other context.
When Students Bring Their Loved Ones
Now let’s flip this scenario. What about when your students bring their friends and family to class?
First, recognize what an enormous compliment this is. Think about it: your student likes your class enough that when someone they care about visits town, or when they’re trying to share something meaningful with a family member, your class is what they want to share. That’s significant.
But it also creates challenges. The visiting friend or family member might have completely different experience levels, expectations, or attitudes about yoga. They might be there reluctantly, as a favor. And your regular student? They’re probably anxious, wanting their person to have a good experience.
Why This Matters for Your Teaching
This dynamic matters because it tests your ability to teach to multiple experience levels simultaneously while managing complex social dynamics. And if you can’t handle it well, you risk losing students or creating awkward situations that affect your class community.
When you have friends or family in your class, you’re simultaneously inhabiting two different roles: the personal relationship role and the teacher role. These roles have different scripts, different boundaries, and different expectations.
The tension between these roles is what makes teaching friends and family so exhausting. You’re not just teaching yoga—you’re managing competing relationship dynamics in real time.
Practical Strategies for Teaching Friends, Family, and Guests
Teaching Your Own Friends and Family
Set expectations in advance. If you know your family member is planning to attend your class, have a conversation beforehand. You might say: “I’m so glad you’re coming to class. Just so you know, I won’t be able to give you special attention during the class—I need to teach everyone equally. But I’m happy to answer questions afterward.”
This protects your other students from feeling like you’re playing favorites, and it protects your family member from feeling ignored or treated differently.
Introduce family members to the group. You might say: “I want you all to meet my husband Wes—he’s visiting class today. Wes, you’re in good hands with this group.” This explains any intimacy or familiarity between you, helps your family member feel welcomed by the community, and gives everyone else permission to help your family member feel integrated.
Don’t overcorrect by being colder. I’ve seen teachers become so worried about appearing to favor their spouse or sibling that they barely acknowledge them. That’s awkward for everyone. Treat them like honored guests while maintaining your role as teacher for the full class.
Acknowledge when it’s weird. It’s okay to use humor. When my younger daughter was lying in savasana for the entire class, I said lightly, “My daughter is demonstrating an advanced variation of today’s practice—full class savasana. For the rest of us, let’s start with cat-cow.” Humor diffuses tension and shows your students that you’re human.
When Students Bring Guests
Acknowledge them immediately. Before class starts, go over and say hello. “Hi, I’m Sage. I’m so glad you’re here. Have you practiced this style of yoga before?” Get their name. Make eye contact.
Welcome them verbally during class. “I want to welcome [guest name] who’s visiting us today. This is a wonderful group, and they’ll help you feel at home.” This signals to your regular student that you’ve noticed and valued their bringing someone, helps the guest feel less like an outsider, and invites the rest of the class to be welcoming.
Check in after class. “How was that for you?” you might ask the guest. And to your regular student: “Thanks for bringing [name]. It’s always great to meet people who are important to you.” This acknowledgment matters more than you might think. Your regular student took a risk sharing this part of their life.
Special Considerations for Holiday Classes
During Thanksgiving and December holidays, you’re likely to see more visitors than usual. At the beginning of class, you might say: “I see we have some visiting family members today—welcome! If this is your first time here, know that everything is optional, nothing should hurt, and you can always rest in child’s pose or any other shape if you need a break.”
Consider adjusting your teaching slightly during holiday weeks. This doesn’t mean dumbing down your class, but it might mean offering more variations, explaining a bit more than usual, or focusing on the foundational movements rather than exploring more complex variations. Your regular students will understand—most appreciate having a more accessible class during busy holiday weeks anyway.
The Deeper Lesson: Boundaries Create Freedom
Here’s what I’ve learned after more than two decades of teaching: clear boundaries in these situations don’t limit your relationships—they protect them.
When you set expectations with your family members about how class will work, you’re not being cold. You’re being clear. And that clarity allows you to maintain your teaching role without feeling guilty about “ignoring” your loved ones.
When you warmly welcome a student’s guest while maintaining your consistent teaching approach, you’re honoring both the relationship and the practice.
The common thread here is intentionality. These situations become problematic when we’re reactive—when we’re caught off guard and don’t know what to do, so we either overcorrect or under-respond. But when we think through these scenarios in advance, set clear expectations, and maintain our teaching role while being warmly human, these situations become opportunities rather than problems.
The Gift of Teaching People Who Know You
Teaching people who know you in other contexts can actually make you a better teacher.
When my older daughter Lillian gave me feedback about my filler words and overused phrases, she was doing something my regular students couldn’t do. She had enough familiarity with me to be honest, and enough distance from being my student to tell me hard truths.
When students brought their skeptical family members to class, I got better at making yoga accessible to people who weren’t already sold on it. I learned to explain benefits without proselytizing, to offer modifications without making anyone feel less-than, and to create an environment where skepticism could soften into curiosity.
These skills transfer to every class you teach. The ability to maintain boundaries while staying warm. The capacity to welcome new people into an established community. The practice of treating everyone equally while recognizing individual needs. These are master teacher skills, and you develop them through exactly these kinds of complex situations.
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